I’m finishing up a book by F. Belton Joyner, Jr. It’s called The Unofficial United Methodist Handbook for
Pastors. It’s funny. It’s light. It’s relevant. For instance, he has the following chapter on “How to Drink Coffee.”
Understand the implicit goal involved. The purpose of drinking coffee is not to drink coffee but rather to visit with a parishioner. If you like good coffee or need the caffeine, consider patronizing a place that specializes in coffee. If you don’t like coffee, you can still accept the invitation to share a cup of coffee with a parishioner, because the goal is the relationship.
He has a section (it’s not long, believe me) on correct posture when sitting or standing — trying to express through body language that you’re comfortable and are willing to stay around a while so the parishioner can share.
He writes, “Church coffee is generally weak, so you can drink it all day and still remain calm.”
And he closes with the following:
Obey the time-tested rules of etiquette. In the case of a home visit that involves coffee, it is customary for hosts to apologize for what they are serving you. They might say, “Sorry that I don’t have very much to offer” or “Sorry that these cookies didn’t turn out just right.” This is not a sign that the fare is of poor quality–rather, it’s an invitation for you to compliment the host.
Now, I admit that I like to drink coffee socially. And, I’ll drink it at church functions if it’s served. However, I have found that you can kill two birds with one stone if you meet with your parishioner at a coffee shop. Then you know the coffee and treat will probably be good. And, in this part of the country, coffee shops are an institution. It’s where people go to meet.
